What's your take?

What's your take on adoption?

At the hospital, I recently had a really challenging situation.

A 20 year old female, with NO support, barely any family, patient works midnights at a nursing home, making somewhere around minimun wage, had a baby last week.   Keep in mind the fact that she didn't know she was pregnant up until she was about 7 months along.

When she arrived at the hospital,  she was in labor, she wanted no one to know about this baby, and she wanted to give it up for adoption. She didn't even want to see the baby, once he was born.  After labor, she eventually did see the baby, held him, fed him, even named him. She fell in love.  She decided to keep the baby after all.  Meanwhile, she still hadn't called a soul to tell them about this event.   On the day of discharge, she decided to call her father. He immediately came to the hospital, and was so upset.  He basically told my patient that if she kept the baby, he would disown her. After hearing this, of course, my patient was upset.

Here I am, trying to digest everything that is going on. Looking for local resources for this girl who has next to nothing.... a carseat, crib, food, diapers, clothing.   I am trying to help her and the baby get insurance as well.

As a social worker, (or any staff member), adoption cannot be chosen for the patient. They have to ASK or WANT an apoption agency to come. However, adoption agencies can be offered to be called for the patient.   By the day that the patient had told her father, the question was asked again, " Would you like me to call for an adoption agency to come out, just so you can get all your questions answered, and to hear what they have to offer? If they do come, it doesn't mean that you are agreeing to adoption, its just for more information." Patient said yes, and the adoption agency was called.

I sat in on the conversation with my patient and the adoption social worker.  The patient is a very passive person, and wants to please everyone, that she wasn't asking questions. By this point, I had gotten to know the patient fairly well, and we had discussed certain questions that might be worth asking. So then, I was asking the questions about adoption.  I felt like I was really advocating for my patient, not only with the adoption agency, but with her father as well.

My advice to the patient was to make 2 lists, one for keeping the baby with pros & cons, and one with giving the baby for adoption with pros and cons. I thought that might help.

This all happened on Thursday last week. I have no clue what happened to my patient, and I am dying to find out. Did she keep the baby? Did she decided to go with adoption? I am dying to know.... its been on my mind through the entire weekend.

 There's more detail to the story then what's posted, mainly because of length, there was soo much more going on then just what's written above.

Needless to say, last week was a hard one.

I did however learn a lot about adoption, and the adoption process...

~Closed-Adoption :  which isn't really recomended anymore. But after the adoption is finalized, the biological mother would have no contact with the child.

~Open-Adoption :  Biological mother has some bonding with baby at the hospital, chooses the family, meets with the adoptive family, and has some contact with family and child throughout the year. Including cards, letters, pictures, birthday gifts, and a few visits.